tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48466520337740381562024-03-13T10:04:27.964+08:00Botak's Random Offerings of Cr@pIf this Blog were a movie, it'd be Pearl Harbor, mainly because it's full of poop. But it'd also be rated R18+, because it deals with adulty stuff using language mayhap NOT suitable for children. So kiddies, run along back to 4chan or something ok??Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-35259341484764835482012-12-03T21:08:00.001+08:002012-12-03T21:09:14.066+08:00A Bachelor's LifeYou'd think that being freed from <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_TGmR9PrD5No/TUiXhIDm7UI/AAAAAAAABgM/hqGZKHWV6jc/s1600/tiger-woods-beat-up-by-his-wife-e1266859537543.jpg" target="_blank">marital administrative responsibilities</a> and various <a href="http://www.loveyourbaby.com/images/baby-poop-diaper.jpg" target="_blank">Dad related duties</a> would be blissful right?<br />
<br />
Well, <a href="https://static.prtst.net/asset-proxy/f2be6fe6c9dbe5ae25e98e29a80c65c7c91f140d/687474703a2f2f696d673731302e696d616765736861636b2e75732f696d673731302f373435332f626177772e6a7067/http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/7453/baww.jpg" target="_blank">fuck that</a>.<br />
<br />
It's been the best part of two months since I've seen my girls (albeit with a short break to the <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Singapore" target="_blank">land of eternally trolling the</a> <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Malaysia" target="_blank">land of eternal racism</a> to catch up), and it must be said that I'm kinda looking forward to their return to the <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Perth" target="_blank">land of the $16 pint</a>.<br />
<br />
Yeah.<br />
<br />
You <a href="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/3/25/129140488848137053.jpg" target="_blank">fucking heard me</a>.<br />
<br />
That's RM48 you <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hnX-YmXiW9g/TtqQN6bbThI/AAAAAAAABAw/zzNaWLCfoJQ/s1600/1562932.jpg" target="_blank">fucking cunt</a>s!<br />
<br />
I'm not sure which is <a href="http://motivateurself.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/ah-shit.jpg" target="_blank">more hazardous</a> to long term financial stability... leaving your <a href="http://muscleandbrawn.com/forums/attachments/general-board/135d1261845784-happy-new-year-wild_party_girls.jpg" target="_blank">wife unsupervised</a> <a href="http://www.americanamanhasset.com/media/images/stores/Gucci_2.jpg" target="_blank">in another country with a credit card</a>, or being at home <a href="http://www.geekologie.com/2012/10/16/computer-room-10.jpg" target="_blank">unsupervised by your wife</a> and <a href="http://www.nationalcynical.com/images/computerbettermaintained.jpg" target="_blank">unrestricted by the usual norms that apply</a>.Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-11880806979297236072012-05-23T14:15:00.001+08:002012-05-23T14:22:48.936+08:00Cue the gospel choir swaying..... now.<a href="http://www.1800gospel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/choir.jpg" target="_blank">Testify!!!</a><br />
<br />
So one of blokes in the know that I've met in my internetty travels commented quite eloquently on why Australia's <a href="http://gifsforum.com/images/meme/herp%20derp/grand/83215814.jpg" target="_blank">Defence Materiel Organisation</a>, <a href="http://derper.com/images/derp/You_Aint_Nothin_But_A_Hurr_Durr.jpg" target="_blank">Defence Science Technology Organisation</a> and <a href="http://www.defence.gov.au/" target="_blank">Defence</a> generally have the <a href="http://graduateschoolgamer.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/tactical_facepalm.jpg" target="_blank">unwavering and universal respect</a> of frontline ADF personnel when it comes to procurement projects.<br />
<br />
In fact, this guy in particular was nice enough to let me quote him directly... call me unoriginal, but this really did deserve a repost...<br />
<br />
"It generally ends up like this: <br />
<br />
<strong>Year 1:</strong><br />
MAJ x says his thingy should be better and more like someone else's thingy. Now Maj x has never fired/used/physically seen the thingy but he's certainly read about it and he knows that it could be more like someone else's thingy aka better. Eventually MAJ gets promoted to LTCOL and gets to influence the procurements cycle.<br />
<br />
<strong>Year 6: </strong><br />
LTCOL x now gets to influcance his mates at Capability Development Group to recognise that his thingy is old and could be better. CDG investigates a better thingy.<br />
<br />
<strong>Year 8:</strong><br />
By investigate, they mean, fly around the world staying in plush hotels looking at other country's thingys. All the contractors who used to do the LTCOL's job in their countries, who make the thingys sweeten the deal and really put on a good show for CDG. <br />
<br />
<strong>Year 9:</strong><br />
CDG comes back with its hair blown back saying to DMO how great someone's thingy is and how we would have a far superior force if we had one and how much of a budget it would save by buying twice as much.<br />
<br />
<strong>Year 10:</strong><br />
DMO consults with DSTO about CDG's recommended thingy. DMO and DSTO have never physically seen the thingy either, but they also hear how awesome it is. <br />
<br />
<strong>Year 11:</strong><br />
DSTO consults with its PhD wizards who do a feasibility study of using the thingy while wearing lab coats in an Adelaide/woomera paddock testing the "unique Australian requirements". DSTO determines that the thingy is the bees knees but they need to add widget y to it for it to meet "unique Australian conditions". <br />
<br />
<strong>Year 12:</strong><br />
DSTO spend years working how exactly how to bolt on the widget and ignore the pre-made widget that the supplier gave for free because that widget doesn't meet "unique Australian camouflage patterns".<br />
<br />
<strong>Year 14:</strong><br />
The thingy is released to much fanfare. The defence minister talks about how it's going to save lives and how the thingy will help make our troops more combat effective.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile no one looked at how the digger was using it, why the digger was using it, what the digger thinks of it and what does the digger think is a better thingy. <br />
<br />
<strong>Year 15:</strong><br />
The digger finally gets to see the thingy. He does a complicated course that's been bastardised by the ADF on the suppliers actual course. The thingy turns out marginally better than the orginal thingy if at all. In the last 15 years there have been some significant technological changes and since the thingy was identified and procured a much newer/better thingy version have come out but can't be bought since DMO and CDG haven't signed off on them as they signed off on thingy version a.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile LTCOL x is now discharged, working for the contractor making a killing, the supplier paid big bucks to have someone deeply familiar with the ADF procurements process (read old boys network). Since LTCOL x has never actually used the thingy he still thinks it's the bees knees. When he hears about diggers complaining about it he just says that they are using it wrong and that all the bugs were fixed in the next version if only the ADF would buy it (and he gets the kick backs).<br />
<br />
In the meantime we continue to say how we are the best equipped in the world, that our thingys are superior to other countries thingys. Even if they have newer thingys we say they don't use them correctly and that our way is better with older thingys.<br />
<br />
Then one day a MAJ reading Australian Defence Magazine sees a really cool thingy that's kind of in his area..........."<br />
<br />
It's just as well <a href="http://img3.ranker.com/user_node_image/6401/1000178321/full/internet-grandma-photo-u1.jpg" target="_blank">no-one on the internet</a> actually reads what I post here (Hi Gran!!!)... we wouldn't actually want our <a href="http://creatingacomic.com/images/monkeys-grooming.jpg" target="_blank">elected leaders</a>, senior ADF officers (<a href="http://www.lolwut.com/layout/lolwut.jpg" target="_blank">who actually care for the greater good more than their own careers</a>) and the <a href="http://www.yes-minister.com/images/oth_humphreycup.jpg" target="_blank">associated bureaucracy</a> to cotton on and actually handle Defence matters with any kind of common sense now would we (so much for obtaining <a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2040/1672464907_73b783a93a.jpg" target="_blank">an indirect fire capability other countries had seventy years ago</a>)?<br />
<br />
Quoted for Truth.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-72943631948528472072012-05-18T09:49:00.000+08:002012-05-18T09:49:35.998+08:00Too Late... I've bred.<a href="http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/bacon-baby-p.jpg" target="_blank">I'm a Dad!</a><br />
<br />
Now, as much as I'm sure there would be some folks who <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7CuMWKGS4k" target="_blank">would not view this as a positive event</a>, I can assure <a href="http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs36/f/2008/246/3/4/Internet_is_SRS_Business_by_fuzzypurple.jpg" target="_blank">any concerned netizens</a> that my daughter will be brought up in a responsible, balanced, and positive way so that she can eventually become an <a href="http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/p480x480/485801_301360933274762_196371493773707_662644_2055515123_n.jpg" target="_blank">upstanding member of society</a>.<br />
<br />
Oh and just from a design point of view, all linkeys now open in a new window.... <a href="http://marshallmatlock.com/wp-content/gallery/the-mans-man-xxxx-burt-reynolds/nude-burt-reynolds-bear-rug.jpg" target="_blank">Like this one</a> (Seriously don't open it... too late...? Gah, ok, <a href="http://eyebleach.com/" target="_blank">use this</a> or <a href="http://guybleach.com/" target="_blank">this</a>)<br />
<br />
My daughter's arrival just happened to coincide with the release of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I43GUnZN_s4" target="_blank">Diablo 3</a>, which may actually be considered problematic if I was ever actually a Diablo fan and had <a href="http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f135/peanutbutterbreakfast/lolwut4.jpg" target="_blank">any interest whatsoever in playing it</a>. Needless to say I'm looking forward to all the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRUS5VfkJls" target="_blank">fun stuff</a> that <a href="http://www.youtube.com./watch?v=-sQFx_e_0jc" target="_blank">parenting</a> holds in store... like cleaning up poop.<br />
<br />
I'm liking the look of the <a href="http://forums.2kgames.com/showthread.php?118085-Expansion-pack-announced-Civilization-V-Gods-amp-Kings" target="_blank">new Civ 5 expansion</a>, hopefully between it and the release of the <a href="http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/frontsquare/dc05_awesomesauce_hot_sauce.jpg" target="_blank">"Source"</a> by 2K, the game might actually get some fresh life as well as a bit of depth, injected into it. Plus I'll be able to play as a <a href="http://store.warlordgames.com/ekmps/shops/warlord/resources/image/Celt_CLose-up_Terrain_web.gif" target="_blank">bunch of furs-clad wild northeners</a>... all the game will need then is the ability to counter the inevitable Mass Denounciations by pestering all the other leaders with <a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwx8hq8kdE1r5fyi4o1_400.jpg" target="_blank">"WINTER IS COMING!!!"</a>Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-17589868727954414572012-05-04T12:49:00.000+08:002012-05-04T13:05:44.610+08:00Nick Xenophon and the New Straits TimesSooo... this is usually a blog that is less than entirely serious and typically contains some pretty off-colour humour, if it is inspired by more mundane or serious aspects of life. But if I can, I'll take a moment to discuss something <a href="http://www.blogcdn.com/massively.joystiq.com/media/2009/03/srslyguys.jpg">serious.</a><br />
<br />
Why has the <a href="http://www.nst.com.my/">New Straits Times</a> <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2012/s3495112.htm">misquoted an Australian Senator so bizarrely</a>?<br />
<br />
<br />
Well, it's not conspiratorial, nor that bizarre. It's politics, and makes complete sense when viewing it from a <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/71/Hisham_Keris.jpeg/250px-Hisham_Keris.jpeg">Malaysian political perspective</a>, rather than an Australian one.<br />
<br />
GE12 saw the ruling Barisan Nasional loose it's customary 2/3rds majority. If things looked bad then, it looked even worse for BN when it hamfisted a response to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bersih_2.0_rally">'Bersih 2.0' rally in July 2011</a>, it's participants calling for unfettered media access by all political participants, indelible ink, and cleaning up of a very suspect electoral roll to name but a few reforms that should fall into the 'No-Brainer' category.<br />
<br />
Since then, with the rise of social media and <a href="http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/">alternative media outlets</a> which are available online that do not necessarily toe the government line, BN has been facing ever increasing pressure to reform and an ever decreasing ability to control the information read by that the voters it ostensibly has to satisfy. Thus it's forced to at least undertake the pretence of reform, even though in doing so it risks losing it's decades long hitherto unchallenged hold on political power.<br />
<br />
Recent scandals involving government contracts, MPs embezzling millions of Ringgit in public funds, as well as recent discoveries that the two top officials in the Malaysian Electoral Commission are in fact paid-up UMNO (and thus BN) party members have compounded long term allegations of corruption in the Police, the EC and other public institutions.<br />
<br />
So what does this have to do with Senator Xenophon?<br />
<br />
Well the good Senator was in Malaysia at the same time as the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bersih_3.0_rally">Bersih 3.0 rally last weekend</a>, specifically for the purpose of consulting with Malaysian politicans about, you guessed it, the state of Malaysian electoral processes.<br />
<br />
Things become even more complicated when the Senator a) meets with a highly controversial opposition leader in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anwar_Ibrahim">Anwar Ibrahim</a>, and b) <a href="http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/australian-senator-nick-xenophon-caught-in-a-protest-in-kuala-lumpur-malaysia-where-police-fired-teargas/story-fn7x8me2-1226341625422">gets shot with teargas during the rally's aftermath</a>, thus creating <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/30/world/asia/malaysian-protesters-accuse-police-of-brutality.html">significant unwelcome international attention</a> to what is already a <a href="http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/7/3/128911085174700637.jpg">tricky situation for BN</a>. The resulting controversy around the government regulations that local Subscription TV provider <a href="http://www.astro.com.my/">Astro</a> <a href="http://my.news.yahoo.com/al-jazeera-seeks-explanation-over-astro-censorship-032808361.html">cited as the reason for censoring it's BBC World Service and Al Jazeera partner reports of the rally</a> didn't help.<br />
<br />
With "GE13" already acknowledged by Malaysian domestic and international observers as inevitably subject to the same endemic corruption that has been a hallmark of public institutions during BN's administration, it becomes an imperative to pre-emptively discredit any external or internal criticism in the minds of the Malaysian electorate. <br />
<br />
By taking a single word <a href="http://www.crazeforcars.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/tom-cruise.jpg">"Scientology"</a> and replacing it with "Islam", UMNO-owned media outlets (UMNO is the largest and most powerful party within the BN coalition and makes no secret of it's ownership of either the NST or the <a href="http://www.thestar.com.my/">Malaysian Star</a>) immediately colour the Senator and by extension the Australian government in the minds of the average Malaysian as being at odds with fundamental Malay cultural and religious values. This allows them to write off any protest or criticism coming from Australia or it's elected officials in the wake of what will surely be a less than free and fair GE13 in Malaysia.<br />
<br />
Combined with the Senator's association with Anwar, and the Senator's documented stance on what the Malaysians refer to as "LGBT" rights, it's perfect BN ammunition to feed to a conservative, culturally and religiously sensitive electorate via a UMNO-dominated mainstream Malaysian media. <br />
<br />
Selamat Datang, Mr Xenophon, Selamat Datang. <br />
<br />
PS. <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=also%2C+cocks">Also, Cocks.</a>Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-21989017665613598252012-04-24T00:27:00.002+08:002012-04-24T00:28:06.977+08:00Tis the season to be Trolling...Well it's coming up on ANZAC Day yet again....<br />
<br />
Time for the dipshits in the media to do their utmost to whip the masses into bile-swilling frenzy. Didn't think the best Trolling effort would come from <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/last-post-first-light/6792303/No-apology-over-dig-at-Aussie-soldiers">the Kiwi's</a> though.<br />
<br />
Well played Good Sir... Successful Troll is Successful.<br />
<br />
I met New Zealander cockheads like this guy on the Peninsula 5 years ago. But then again, I met even more Australian cockheads on the Peninsula 5 years ago too.... just another reason to feel sorry for the good people of Turkey I guess.<br />
<br />
What is it about <a href="http://www.funnyphotos.net.au/images/funny-army-pictures-bike-jousting1.jpg">ANZAC Day</a> that brings out the worst in people? Seriously? Lefties get all worked up about using the day to pursue an anti-war agenda and accuse everyone who wants to engage in quiet commemoration and reflection as Nazi's.... Bogans get all "if you don't like it, leave".... Meanwhile a too-small-a-proportion of the populace (usually serving or former ADF or families related to serving or formerly serving ADF) actually 'Get the Point' (TM) and try to ignore everyone else's nerdrage.<br />
<br />
But it'll be an interesting ANZAC Day in Perth this year. <a href="http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/bin-laden-burial-warship-to-arrive-wa/story-e6frg12c-1226336245545">The arrival of a supercarrier and a guided missile cruiser</a> is always something which makes the news, but for it to coincide with ANZAC Day? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to drink with US service personnel... have done so before, and they're a great bunch. Very friendly, unfailingly polite, and well disciplined. The issue will be in what happens when they meet <a href="http://images.watoday.com.au/2009/12/13/967113/17-600x400.jpg">the locals</a>.<br />
<br />
Perth's single males historically haven't taken too kindly to having any number of single women flock to other single guys in uniforms (there's a reason why the Army forbids it's personnel to go out in Uniform of any type, the Navy still allows it because they're a bit <a href="http://gifsforum.com/images/meme/herp%20derp/grand/83215814.jpg">special</a>). Now the USN and USMC very wisely don't go out all dressed up any more either, but you can imagine what Barney's Guy/Chick co-efficient is going to look like come Wednesday night? Here's a hint... it's a <a href="http://homemade-sausage.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/sausage-6644.jpg">Zone</a> of some sort....<br />
<br />
Not a bad start to the year by the Dockers. I'm a bit nervous about Fyfey's shoulder, but with Morabito looking on the mend, and Mundy and Barlow back and with Ross Lyon at the helm we're looking in pretty decent shape to at least get a bit of respectability about ourselves. Still no matter what happens, we'll never be as bad as <a href="https://www.crackawines.com.au/Upload/Images/ImageGalleryPortrait/NV_Penfolds_Club.png">Port</a>.<br />
<br />
Wifey's about two weeks away from popping out our first, so I guess I better get some sleep while I still can. Should anyone actual stumble on this thing (<a href="http://simpsonswiki.net/w/images/thumb/3/3c/Ha_Ha.jpeg/250px-Ha_Ha.jpeg">HA!</a>), have a great ANZAC Day! See you when I next get the urge to write more drivel in six months or so.<br />
<br />
<br />Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-31760230867862232922012-02-29T17:45:00.005+08:002012-02-29T18:16:45.709+08:00Malaysian elections and Yumi Stynes, together at last...Well, that's torn it; Now I'm on Twitter as well. @PerthBotak....<br /><br />Just one more form of blogging that I can completely ignore/fail to update with any regularity.<br /><br />Speaking of Fail, <a href="http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/television/yumis-in-strife-over-disrespectful-comments-about-ben-roberts-smith/story-e6frfmyi-1226284734832">WTF is this shit?</a> Congratulations Yumi Stynes, you've just slid from <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/Pilger_New_Statesman.jpg">irrelevant tier</a> to <a href="http://static.mamamia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/kyle.jpg">douche tier</a>. Pretty sure those are both already below <a href="http://i.infoplease.com/images/mitaly.gif">shit tier</a>, so you're in real trouble.<br /><br />Looking forward to seeing what happens with GE13 in Malaysia. Looks like BN and the UMNOputeras are getting a bit nervous, but I'm still not sure that PR is going to sweep all before it. It'll need to do a lot of work in the East to actually get anywhere, and if we can be realistic for a second, the MEC generally takes it's approach to running open and honest elections from <a href="http://www.whale.to/b/r237203_956389.jpg">this guy</a>. With <a href="http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/">Malaysian Insider</a> being pretty much the only well known media organisation which isn't controlled by BN, I reckon PR will be lucky to win 100 seats when all is said and done.<br /><br />Guess we'll find out soon enough. Me, I'm waiting for the <a href="http://graphics.ucsd.edu/%7Eiman/SoapBubbles/Soap_bubble_3_RGB.png">KL property market</a> to<a href="http://www.clker.com/cliparts/q/1/k/A/R/b/comic-burst-hi.png"> do it's thing</a>, so <a href="http://i52.tinypic.com/xmlax3.jpg">I can do mine</a> and pick at the carcass...Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-10811877893316749332011-07-25T09:15:00.001+08:002012-05-04T13:24:21.018+08:00So... Amy Winehouse overdosed huh?"Tried to make me go to rehab, but I said -" <strong>*Gurgle, Cough, Dies.*</strong><br />
<strong></strong>Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-15740012235702051892011-07-22T17:44:00.003+08:002011-07-22T19:46:28.630+08:00ConnectivityAm I the only one who's getting <a href="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kza6boMZCU1qa9armo1_500.jpg">shat off</a> with the idea of every single application post Web 2.0 being all about <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Trolling">connectivity</a>?<br /><br />What happened to the good old days, when "connecting with someone" meant a mutually consenting, responsible but thoroughly enjoyable exchange of genital fluids?<br /><br />I don't fucking want my LinkedIn profile to be linked with my Facebook! People get into all sorts of <a href="http://www.thebostonchannel.com/r/24670937/detail.html">drama</a> precisely because they don't recognise <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPG3YMcSvzo">Costanza's Law of Mixing Worlds</a>...<br /><br />Now don't get me wrong... Seinfeld was a singularly unfunny show, and it's my genuine and wholehearted belief that the cast had the collective talent of a guinea pig on crystal meth. But when then Writers conjured up this particular joke, they were on to something. It wasn't <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/RayWilliamJohnson?blend=1&ob=5">humour</a>, but it was something<br /><br />Never in my entire existence has any experiment which involved mixing "circles" in my life ended well, or as well as I'd hoped. Indeed, things always ran much much more smoothly when they were deliberately kept seperate. Not so much because of the concept of wearing different "faces" in different "circles", but because the people in each circle were connected to me for very different reasons. It's far less about me than it is about them.<br /><br />To just assume that those close to you from one area of your life will mix perfectly with those from another area is a bit like <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ButtHurt">Zionists</a> claiming the territory which encompasses the current nation of Israel purely or primarily because "God gave it to us" (he also <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assyria">took it away</a> IIRC) - By all means try it... but <a href="http://www.bayarearidersforum.com/forums/images/threads/000/192/683/2962652-faggotry_afoot.jpg">unsubstantiated arrogance</a>, like the Australian Tax Office, is likely to come around and <a href="http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/150/f/2010/253/1/6/raep_voldy_by_totooltoulto-d2ygzu9.jpg">fuck you in the ass</a> sooner or later and when it does don't be surprised if it doesn't a) wear a condom, b) use lube, or c) so much as buy you dinner first or comment on the nice purfume you went to the trouble of wearing (or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE">buy you that thing you like</a>).<br /><br />So why, oh why, must everything be connected to everything else?<br /><br />Google with Blogspot; News websites with Twitter; Facebook with everything... Say it ain't So, Steam!!! (I wonder if Mark Zuckerburg realises his child is the new media equivalent of an Essex Slapper?)<br /><br />And we're not just talking about ideology... because, like most intelligent people, <a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51pft9ZuTEL._SL500_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-43,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg">I like to have varying login details</a> (Usernames, Passwords etc) from site to site I now get punished with <a href="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090526213223/uncyclopedia/images/archive/4/4d/20090526214325%21Face_raep.jpg">login difficulties</a> due to the shared nature of sites running contrary to stored browser <a href="http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/cookie_monster_wrestler_01.jpg">cookies</a> which used to be ok when sites didn't share authentication.<br /><br />At this rate, bring on the Ron D Moore-sque AI revolt.<br /><br />Here's something I'd like to "Share" with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunts">Zuckerburg, Page, Dorsey et al</a>; I've got your connectivity <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY&ob=av3n">Right Here.... </a>Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-28314937695310385002011-07-22T12:08:00.006+08:002011-07-22T14:10:23.778+08:00Universal Dickhead TheoryIt's been theorized that great minds think alike.<br /><br />So, surely, the same must refer to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Dwayne_Russell&oldid=436642984">dickheads</a> (Best Wikipedia edit ever, just BTW)?<br /><br />It was a nagging inkling at first, some kind of Spidersense-type itch on my frontal lobes that I just couldn't account for... but I had noticed that every single moron on the road (and in Perth, I assure you, there's a few), had a GPS stuck firmly in the centre of their windscreen. The nagging inkling graduated to a <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_vbwkPbixzHU/S98k6izdGkI/AAAAAAAABe8/cJ7Ai-YTWbA/s1600/dude-wtf.jpg">persistent concern</a> when I was in Malaysia in March, driving my wife and parents back to Klang from a trip out to the Cameron Highlands...<br /><br />Over a period of 4 hours, I'd realised that every single Malaysian who otherwise appeared to be missing a chromosome also appeared to be driving a Proton of <a href="http://chantelle-scribblesdoodles.blogspot.com/2010/10/i-came-across-these-pics-on-facebook.html">one</a> type or <a href="http://s.lowyat.net/uploads//attach-60/post-218260-1225203257_thumb.jpg">another</a>.<br /><br />And that's when it struck me...<br /><br />"Just because you have/drive/use/think/like X does not make you a Dickhead. However, every Dickhead I've ever met has/drives/uses/thinks/<a href="http://sp5.fotolog.com/photo/53/13/119/aegis_alex/1241447577532_f.jpg">likes</a> X".<br /><br />It's a wonderfully universal theorum, and you can use it in a wide variety of conversations and contexts - everything from GPS, Malaysian Drivers and <a href="http://yellow-menace.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/cthulhu-hentai.jpg">anime</a> to politicians, <a href="http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/total-recall-mars-surface.jpg">Lord Monckton</a> or <a href="http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/174/newlogokk0.jpg/">The West Coast Eagles</a>.<br /><br />Speaking of which, I am <a href="http://uploads.ozcardtrader.com.au/attachments/cricket-buy-sell-trade-auctions/24045d1278930661-sold-175-delivered-97-98-ian-chappell-signature-card-sold-bigkev.jpg">genuinely pleased</a> to actually see the Eagles doing better this year, and although <a href="http://fremantlefc.com.au/">Freo's</a> had a couple of decent wins of late (Sorry Sydney fans, as much as I usually <a href="http://img10.glitterfy.com/graphics/135/stewie_i_like_you.gif">like you</a>... See that at <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOk5bYtbfr4&feature=related">4:24</a>? That's a throw, kids. <a href="http://files.sharenator.com/Problem_Officer_RE_Meanwhile_in_Lybia-s250x251-148691.jpg">Accept some reality</a> or alternatively, Eat a Dick) I actually think the Eagles will win this one pretty convincingly.<br /><br />Also, <a href="http://www3.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Fremantle+Dockers+Media+Session+EA7aZPSycRtl.jpg">Dat Ass</a>.<br /><br />In other football news, I'm afraid my Dream Team has also been munching on penor - mainly thanks to the <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MhiPEIsRPSI/Tdh9VfMSSkI/AAAAAAAAA78/EYW-zrxJ7EE/s1600/Red+October.jpg">Sub Rule</a>. It's <a href="http://img2.moonbuggy.org/imgstore/football-butt-fuck.jpg">pissed enough of my mates off</a> that our long-standing DT League will likely be given <a href="http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/8/2008/04/Apocalypse2.jpg">the Sodom and Gamorrah treatment</a> next year.<br /><br />More Generally, if you get a chance and you can afford it, go <a href="http://www.tripadvisor.com.au/Hotel_Review-g298335-d308275-Reviews-Cocoa_Island_Resort-South_Male_Atoll.html">Here</a>. You'll probably have to sell 57% of your mother's organs on the Chinese black market to afford it, but it's worth every penny... You'll note the <a href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/files.posterous.com/lexielex/YcK9PcoxgF9FTE99u9xzTZD2r5kvKMBZF8xthvXMesc2Z2I3xhgugDbeCQuN/Cool_story_bro.jpeg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJFZAE65UYRT34AOQ&Expires=1311315132&Signature=3khEV4LW3vDvywcgjixDex7QEko%3D">two 'Poor' reviews</a>. I would suggest to you that the first French poster is a greenie nutbag, and the second is a crack-addled whinger who needs a blow job really quite badly. Seriously, the place will probably be underwater in the next decade or two, so if you get the chance, don't pass it up.Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-40937658115864933812011-01-13T20:41:00.000+08:002011-01-13T21:48:08.843+08:00The Pilbara does funny things to a personSo... for anyone who ever wondered how someone unaccustomed to working in a "mining site" environment manages it (or doesn't)... I present two examples of what, exactly, the Pilbara can do to someone....<br /><br />Interwebs, meet <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7aVvNXUbdc">Adam</a>.<br /><br />Yes, yes, he is indeed a mad cunt. But in the nicest way possible, I assure you. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if his <em>Chatte de Folie</em> was either the result of his one trip up to Kandama (.... ok, two) or if his tongue wasn't firmly in cheek.<br /><br />Astra on the other hand, seems to have been affected by the lifestyle up north in a much deeper, more profound, and decidedly more <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9CaJpWAbEY">extensive way</a>. Way to fly the flag for <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Slapper">classy chicks</a> <a href="http://www.4chan.org/">everywhere</a>.....<br /><br />Kinda makes you wonder if the 'St Kilda girl' has been spending any time near Karratha recently, considering how whacked out some of her antics have been... Now, without in the slightest way condoning the conduct of any Saint Kilda player who may be involved either directly or indirectly with some of the shenanigans that have been going on over there of late (Hell, I've spent a not inconsiderable amount of time in a <a href="http://www.defence.gov.au/army">boy's club of my own</a> but none of us ever pranced around naked let alone took happy snaps of each other prancing around naked) but I must say that since this <a href="http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/dr%20evil%20laser-thumb.jpg">"laaaaazer"</a> - erm, I mean <a href="http://www.couriermail.com.au/ipad/afl-photo-girl-a-court-no-show/story-fn6ck4a4-1225975596122">"news story"</a>, first broke in late 2010, my initially scathing opinion of this young girl has mellowed somewhat.<br /><br />Yes, she's lied as it now turns out... probably about a number of things, given her story was riddled with inconsistencies right from the start, but I now find myself feeling just as sorry for her as I do for some of the St Kilda players who've never met her, but are still copping it regardless. Not because she's been victimised by the <a href="http://www.sportbetaustralia.com/images/afl.jpg">AFL</a>, or <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2IZruYZ3HGY/SorH16cJBbI/AAAAAAAAAU0/mBVlgVUpvyY/s400/monkey_poo.jpg">St Kilda FC</a>, but because she quite clearly has <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Rd27GG_0AJU/SwGQiWtzPvI/AAAAAAAAEBI/zUNJWRr9AVk/s400/BATSHIT+CRAZY.jpg">issues</a>, and no not the kind of issues that <a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/hammervision/assets_c/2010/08/barney_stinson1-thumb-autox379-196881.jpg">Barney Stinson</a> finds irresistable. No, it's pretty clear from her complete <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_I1usyUqzIL4/TPc0W0cottI/AAAAAAAAAy0/qydmJ1H097E/s1600/sign+-+epic+fail.jpg">inability</a> to admit any <a href="http://www.starwars.com/img/movies/saga/20081117a/tv_ad.jpg">wrongdoing</a>, take any responsibility or even acknowledge that she may have committed a youthful folly without blaming the world at large and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Israel,_Palestine,_and_the_United_Nations">maintaining victim status</a> in the very next breath. <a href="http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Attention_Whore">Sociopath</a> much?<br /><br />The real tragic thing here is that most of her family have pretty much reached the limit of their patience and are washing their hands of her... Whilst I'm sure the lack of support she has available is self-inflicted (apparently she's refused help from the AFL that was repeatedly offered), that doesn't change the fact that the poor lass needs help of some kind nonetheless...<br /><br />Speaking of people needing <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/01/13/3112246.htm">Help</a>? People who are this ballsy deserve some. They've been through massive and probably largely untold piles of shit, and yet the place hasn't <a href="http://www.markdroberts.com/images/Hurricane-looting-Wal-4.jpg">fucking imploded</a>. If you've got the spare cash, think about <a href="http://www.qld.gov.au/floods/donate.html">throwing some their way</a> ey?Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-13675549651407330042010-02-24T18:13:00.000+08:002010-02-24T19:25:58.165+08:0010 InternetsYeah ok, so it's been a while.<br /><br />You should be thankful that there's one less source of filth perverting and corrupting an already filthy <a href="http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Internets">internets</a>.<br /><br />Speaking of filth (in a good way), here's a list of people I think should get 10 Internets -<br /><br />1. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/communitychannel">Nat Tran</a>, for making Sydney <a href="http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Everyone%20Else/images-3/mad-max-2.jpg">slightly cooler than it actually is</a>.<br />2. Michael Kania, of Philadelphia USA, for <a href="http://www.hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/">asking the tough questions</a>.<br />3. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub0BRcg5MB0">The Dukes of Holland</a>, for obvious reasons.<br />4. Roger Chan, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_Uncle">the Bus Uncle</a>.<br />5. Anyone who thinks Moot is a Fag.<br />6. Sid Meier. Looking forward to Civ 5 like you wouldn't believe.<br />7. Jamie Bamber. How can one man be so full of win? The only way he could get cooler is if <a href="http://media.battlestarwiki.org/images/6/62/Maj_apollo_in_viper.jpg">Apollo</a> travelled forward in time, met up with <a href="http://www.hollow-art.com/files/bases/jamie_bamber_as_archie_kennedy_017_0.jpg">Archie Kennedy</a> and simultaneously fed the Cylons and the French Navy <a href="http://www.funnycorner.net/funny-pictures/5505/Manwich.jpg">manwiches</a>. My mancrush poureth over, that guy is so awesome his existence is a threat to the security of NATO.Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-78758499871196901382009-10-11T17:00:00.000+08:002009-10-11T18:29:22.184+08:00Bored on a Sunday...... Actually, bored is the wrong word.<br /><br />"Bored" implies a state of inherent dissatisfaction, when in fact I'd like nothing more than for the weekend to literally drag on until the Heat Death of the Universe<span style="font-size:78%;">(TM)</span>.<br /><br />Which would be good, because then the start of next week could tie in nicely in terms of timing for when HBO <em>finally</em> get off their ass and release "The Pacific". Why, when a movie, book or game is produced and otherwise ready to go, do people insist on holding off on releasing it until the maximum of wailing, teeth-gnashing and general angst is at it's maximum?<br /><br />Why? Because they're <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cunts">cunts</a>.<br /><br />Not like the lovely people at <a href="http://www.cottesloebeachhotel.com.au/">this place</a>. The fiance and I had our Engagement party last weekend at the Cott, and it was smashin! Good food platters, and the tab actually lasted - woot!! Anyway, if anyone I know actually reads this and was there - thanks for comin! We also scored some great gifts which weren't in any way expected, but will be very much appreciated nonetheless...<br /><br />The rest of the week we basically entertained the fiance's family who'd come over from <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Malaysia">the land of eternal faggotry</a> and it was nice to have them, but now that they're gone home it is nice to have things kinda return to a more normal pace - typically meaning doing six eighths of fuck all on weeknights after work other than playing Civ4 while the missus watches the 1,394,576th episode of '<a href="http://programme.tvb.com/drama/offpedder">Off Pedder</a>'.<br /><br />This week was a bit wierd for more than just the in-laws being around... what's with Paul Murray being on <a href="http://blogs.abc.net.au/wa/2009/10/join-paul-murray-on-mornings.html">ABC Radio</a>? I mean, there's no denying the guy's an experienced radio presenter, but I'd like to think I'm a little bit elevated in the evolutionary chain above the intellectual level of your <a href="http://www.laughparty.com/funny-pictures/Redneck-Overalls-1281.jpg">typical 6PR listener</a> - so not only does it a feel a bit wrong being part of his audience, but I'm beginning to see why he's been employed on such a lengthy basis at 6PR and at The West Australian newspaper.<br /><br />The thing I liked most about <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/profiles/content/s1863045.htm?site=perth">Geoff Hutchinson</a>, who usually does ABC Mornings is that basically, unlike most of the presenters on commercial FM Radio (Would put in a link here, but there's far too many Darwin Award contenders to just choose one), he's not a twat. He's actually just a pleasant sounding, moderately viewed, quietly spoken individual, who presents things that are important enough for other people to sound off on... more importantly, he allows whatever is playing out to tell it's own story via the people he's interviewing or the callers calling in.<br /><br />Murray on the other hand, tries to play up the sensationalist angle with every fourth or fifth question, trying to rile his audience up as if he feels they're not getting their fix of tabloid crap from the other WA media outlets he's worked for. Having said that, this particular piece of <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/10/11/2710739.htm">"news"</a> got my attention earlier today.<br /><br />Post-<a href="http://www.defence.gov.au/army/artc/">Kapooka</a> "initiation"? WTF? I'm <em>based</em> at the same location mentioned in this story ("a WA barracks"), and have been since 2001. I don't know of <em>any</em> post basic training hazing that goes on at any of the units, either isolated or institutionalised. If anything, blokes coming back from Kapooka are generally met with a knowing grin, reassuringly advised that they don't need to stand fast for NCOs entering a room, and that "it's over and they can calm down and relax". I've <em>never</em> witnessed or even heard of any kind of hazing... the kind of harsh discipline applied which may result in complaints from the more limp wristed civilian who can't handle the psychological transition to soldiery usually results in complaints at Kapooka, not after it.<br /><br />But what I <em>do</em> know is that the RAE just had their spiffy and rather awesome Oktoberfest function last Saturday night. Although I didn't attend, I've heard it was a bloody great night for the most part... and for that matter I also heard one or two dickheads decided to get out of control, and <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_NPeIdlHaoaQ/STVaBETlZuI/AAAAAAAADpc/rKBeiDTY5Wk/s400/ass_kicking_contest.gif">were given a bit of a talking to as a result</a>. Regardless of whether there's any link between that night and the alleged hazing, I wouldn't be surprised if the "bullying" was actually one soldier acting like a dickhead, and being pulled into line... at which point the butthurt soldier involved decided to contact the media.<br /><br />And if the media aren't shitting me off enough...<br /><br />The <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Epic_Fail">epic fail</a> which this <a href="http://www.cnet.com.au/left-4-dead-2-banned-in-australia-339298590.htm?omnRef=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com.au%2Fsearch%3Fsource%3Dig%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D%26q%3Dleft%2Bfor%2Bdead%2B2%2Bbanned%26meta%3Dlr%253D%26aq%3D1%26oq%3D">bullshit</a> is drowning in is just fucking unbelievable. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not butthurt about this particular game being banned. L4D is an awesome game, but I've got it on Steam... I'm happy with that much. What pisses me off is that the average Australian gamer (Whom according to a stack of independantly acquired evidence) is actually 30 years of age, continues to have a <a href="http://www.kotaku.com.au/2008/03/why_michael_atkinsons_opposal_of_r18_does_bugger_all_to_protect_kids_promotes_crime/">gobsmackingly stupid imbecile refuse to allow mature adults to decide what games they can and can't play via an R18+ rating</a>. Can the retards in South Australia, please please please vote this dumb cunt out of office already?Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846652033774038156.post-51288382104436454702009-08-20T20:30:00.000+08:002012-05-23T14:35:15.077+08:00Blogging, Wierd illnesses and Kings of Leon vs OasisAh, yes... back again. Blogging once more.<br />
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I type even as some part of my soul shrivels and <a href="http://images.paraorkut.com/img/funnypics/images/m/mario_betrayal-13181.jpg">recoils in betrayal</a> with a perfunctory internal protest of "In the name of <strong>GOD</strong>, What the <strong>FUCK</strong> are you doing??" as I allow myself to do this again. I mean, last time I actually really only gave it up because it was something an <a href="http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Emo">Emo</a> ex was so heavily into... mind you, she was also the reason my first blog lasted more than 2 posts, so there you go...<br />
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I think what it really comes down to, when all's said and done is that I'm a <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kyle_Sandilands">loud-mouthed wanker</a>. And as a result, I like to sound off about shit every now and then, even if no-one will ever really care for long enough to read the text that I no doubt wasted a half hour or so publishing to that thar interwebs. Having said that, I'm sure I'll no doubt piss someone off at some stage.<br />
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Between the description of this blog, and the warning that I've set it should be pretty fucking clear that if you are easily offended, you shouldn't be reading this blog. <strong><em>EVAR</em></strong>.<br />
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Now, that doesn't mean <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kyle_Sandilands">I absolve myself of all responsibility for what I say in a public forum</a>. But what it does mean is that if I come out with some random comment such as "<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Malaysia">Malaysia</a> is the global home of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institutionalised_racism">unbridled faggotry</a>, and I can see why Singapore didn't want a bar of their bullshit", then chances are there's some underlying logic behind my making such a contentious statement. And if you're too offended to give a shit why I made that statement, and just want to rage, my response to you will pretty much always be <a href="http://img.skitch.com/20090310-fue4arsbcqnqj5q9327sc2gd46.jpg">this</a>.<br />
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Furthermore, if you're wondering as to why I'm inclined to make such a statement, feel free to comment asking "<em><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asshole">Good sir</a>, what is the underlying logic behind my making such a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullshit">contentious statement</a>?</em>" as opposed to "<em>Hai fuk u aussie, why u disrespek my country lah? - Signed, Ah-Beng Dickhead.</em>" If you leave a comment with the former, you may actually receive a <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wank">thought-out and reasoned response</a>. Not necessarily one you'll agree with, but if universal agreement is one of your lifelong hopes and dreams, I'm afraid you're pushing shit uphill. But at least your counterpoint will be listened to.<br />
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<strong>TL;DR - If you're easily offended, do yourself (if not me) a favour, and don't read this blog. Move the fuck on. :)</strong><br />
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Having said that, this isn't <a href="http://www.4chan.org/">4Chan</a>'s /b/ or <a href="http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Main_Page">ED</a> or any shit like that. By all means if you really want to slum it, fill your boots. I personally like to get a little unclean every now and then, but too much of anything is a bad thing.<br />
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So... Wierd Illnesses.<br />
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Really did think I had H1N1 as of about Monday. Had all the symptoms. And Maurice the neighbourhood's wild hog, was a bit sniffly. Then I found out a) my body core temp is about 4 degrees lower than it should be, so no real "fever" there, and b) the scourge of Maurice was no more since the local ranger <a href="http://cdn.faniq.com/images/blog/Giant%20Hog.jpg">took care of him</a> (Well ok, that's bullshit, but so's the idea that an 11 year old in Florida shot a pig three times his fucking size). Anyway, yeah, not fun. Swine Flu's supposed to be mild isn't it?<br />
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Which reminds me.... Kings of Leon.<br />
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All their songs sound identical. They're the new Oasis. I swear to <a href="http://grupthinkpro.s3.amazonaws.com/grupthinklive4174b9177f37dbbf4f7aa72bd444166c" target="_blank">Christ</a> if I actually possessed enough talent and hand-eye coordination to actually play a guitar, I'd be able to achieve what Tripod did and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f3mR8tVhn8">roll through every hit said band has had using the same chord progression</a>.<br />
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Anyway I think I've made enough asinine outbursts for one day. Probably won't update regularly for several very good reasons, two of which being 1) Regular updates make this kinda thing a chore, and not a pleasure like it should be and 2) Like most people I need time between Blog posts to actually have interesting shit to talk about, since I'm as boring as a hobo fucking a hog which is three times the size of an 11 year old Florida boy.... actually, someone do Rule 34 on that shit, it could be interesting...Botakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087727725677584497noreply@blogger.com0